Oral sex is quite simply awesome! It can be enjoyable for both the giver and receiver. Below are some helpful tips and bits of information that can improve your next experience.
Too many people are under the impression that oral sex is risk-free. While it is less risky than genital-to-genital contact, there are a number of diseases which can be transmitted via oral contact there is still an exchange of bodily fluids (saliva, semen, pre-ejaculate, vaginal secretions). Most adults (82%) do not even take precautions when engaging in oral sex.
Risks are higher when there is an open cut through which infections can more easily make their way into the bloodstream. Two sexually transmitted diseases which are of particular concern with oral sex are Herpes Simplex and Human Papillomavirus (HPV). Other potential diseases include Gonorrhea, Chlamydia and even HIV. Do not despair. Use of the following barrier methods can help reduce the risk of infection.
For more information on going down on him, click here.
|Technical Term||Commonly known as||Barrier Method|
|Cunnilingus||muff-diving, yodeling in the gulley, talking to the man in the boat||Use a dental dam. If they are not available, use plastic wrap (no you won't find that on Martha Stewart's website) or slit a condom down the sides and cover the area|
|Analingus||tossing a salad, rim job||Use a dental dam. If they are not available, use plastic wrap (no you won't find that on the SARAN WRAP website) or slit a condom down the sides and cover the area|
For further reading on this, we recommend the Center for Sexual Pleasure & Health's article "Q&A: Safer Oral Sex."
Going down on her (formally known as Cunnilingus)
Before getting busy down there, let's talk about hygiene. We can tell you from personal experience that nothing puts the brakes on oral sex faster than offensive odors or tastes. Let's recognize that female genitalia is much more complicated than that of men.
Women can have pH imbalance issues, yeast infections and menstrual considerations. It is best for the ladies to be aware of these issues before they let their partner pleasure them. Cleaning your body thoroughly before engaging in oral sex is best. Make sure to discuss any offensive odors or rashes with your physician. Don't worry, this is a mutual recommendation.
As you will likely be using your fingers in this activity, you would do both you and your partner a favor by making sure you have neatly trimmed your fingernails and conditioned your skin. It makes common sense. Making the experience more pleasant for your partner will make them more enthusiastic about giving you pleasure. You may also consider flavored lubes - which we will discuss in greater detail further on. Remember the golden rule.
Feel free to peruse our personal hygiene collection.
Conveying your desires out loud not only clarifies expectations but can help set the mood. Think about it - sitting or lying next to your partner and whispering what you can do to her is an amazing turn-on for both of you.
Ask her ahead of time what she likes. Fast or slow? Soft or hard? Nibbling or sucking? Where?
While communicating what you want or like to do beforehand is important, keep your ears and eyes open to read her body language. Take notice of when her breath quickens, her skin trembles, she whimpers and moans. Also listen to her silence.
Getting down to business...
While the clitoris is the main actor in the play, remember that this is an ensemble performance. Begin with her inner thighs, gently caressing and kissing. The key is to stimulate those areas where the skin is most sensitive, often without directly touching it. Allow the warmth of your breath to heighten her senses. For men with facial hair, the soft grazing of an errant whisker can also titillate. These can increase bloodflow to the area, critical to female arousal just as in male stimulation.
Contrary to what you may have seen in porn, even though the clitoris is the "hot button" it is not in fact a button which you must continually press or push. Adult films all too often portray men massaging the clit like the track ball in Centipede. Start out slow. Every woman is different and you need to recognize and pay attention to that.
Licking and nibbling the other surfaces of the pussy is adored by many women. Go slowly and think fun. Since it’s hard to have a verbal conversation when you are eating pussy, you can refer to her body language, whimpers and moans, etc. for feedback.
Pay attention to the most sensitive areas, If you need help, refer to the diagram above:
- Labia (a.k.a. pussy lips)
When you are ready to make her moan, try using different techniques:
- Start slowly
- Long, slow licks along her labia (like an ice cream cone)
- Tracing the alphabet with your tongue over her clitoris
- Flick your tongue quickly over the clitoris
- Try humming thereby adding gentle vibrations to the sensations
- Slide your tongue inside and curl it upward
- Sucking gently on the clitoris while flicking your tongue over the head
- Experiment...have fun.
Eventually you will include fingers ("digital penetration") into the mix. One of the most effective methods is to turn your hand palm up and beginning with your middle finger, lubricate your finger by licking it, using her own natural lubricants or one of our fantastic products. Slowly slide your finger into her vagina making sure to pay attention to her sounds and suggestions.
Once well inside, slowly curl your finger upward in a come hither fashion against her g-spot. Her g-spot os a soft, spongey collection of tissue on the inside of her body opposite of her clitoris. This technique is particularly effective as it provides simultaneous stimulation to her two most sensitive areas - the clitoris and g-spot.
As mentioned earlier, pay attention to how she reacts to what you do. Repeat the good stuff. Don't do what she dislikes. Talk about it.
If it all goes well, your lady will have a mind-blowing orgasm. Now this is going to sound pretty funny (and it is) but be aware of the fact that as the involuntary spasms overwhelm her, she may not be able to control bucking her hips or squeezing her legs together. Some women have even been known to squirt.
This is definitely an option while performing oral sex. but we will talk about this in greater detail in our Anal Play article. This is definitely something to consider for future activities.
If all goes well, there will be an explosive finish. There are basically three options: spit, swallow or dodge. This is one of those points it is best to agree upon before engaging because there is little warning before a man has an orgasm...and let's be honest, you do not have all of your faculties when you are coming.
For more information on going down on him, click here.
- Eldorado Trading Company
- CSPH: Q&A Safer Oral Sex
- Doc Johnson: Oral Sex Guide
- CNN: Survey: Adults still skip condom use